Remember awhile back when loads of twats were coming out of the woodwork and having a go at your ‘favourite Mancunian band’, because of our glorious moniker? Pricks like Spoilface, Toilface and Boilface. Dickheads trying to jump on our slacker-rock bandwagon in order to get a little nibble of cyber-publicity. Well, fortunately that little trend seems to of fucked off for now.
But as one problem subsides another rears it’s maggot suckling head. Yes, the Foilface reputation is now in danger of being tarnished by a bizarre new terrorist organisation, known simply as, D.A.T – or the Dead Animal Terrorists.
These clowns have started leaving a variety of dead animals outside the offices of some of Manchester’s most popular bands with little speech bubbles beside them (Mark E. Smith, for one, was not amused by his gift of a deceased kestral and the words, “STOP SLURRING YOUR WORDS TEABAG FACE”).
I wouldn’t personally be arsed were it not for the fact that the bum-munchers are seemingly doing it in OUR name. The tools are either pretending to be us or are so infatuated with our music that they feel the need to threaten other Mancunian bands on our behalf.
If it’s the latter, it’s flattering, but in all honesty I’d prefer it if they just handed out some leaflets for us or directed people to our lovely new website. Dumping dead birds on people’s doorsteps just isn’t on really. Thanks and all that, but please stop it.
And as for called yourselves ‘Terrorists’ – dropping lifeless crows outside Noel Gallagher’s mum’s house on a Friday morning in June is hardly the new 9/11 now is it? You silly little turds…
