Endured a bit of that Radio 1 big weekend malarkey on Saturday for reasons that can’t be justified. Following a tut-fest over the unbelievable fact that these fools still haven’t got wise to the magnificent recent music of Foilface, we couldn’t seem to get past the notion that Florence Welch was reportedly ejected from the womb only 23 years ago.
There’s no disputing that she swings a fat bag of vocal prowess down the high street of pop, but 23? She could easily pass for Patsy Palmer’s mum, and oft dresses like Helen Mirren’s gran.
She’s upfront about her booze love, but there’s only around 135,000 drinking hours in 23 years so the grog can’t account for that much wear and tear alone can it? She does say on her website, “I want my music to sound like throwing yourself out of a tree, or off a tall building,” so perhaps this explains things somewhat.
YOU FUCKING DICKS HOW DARE YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT ABOUT FLORENCE SHES BEAUITFUL YOUR TALKING SHIT JUST CAUSE YOUR PROBABLY SOME UGLY FUCK HIDING BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Jessica. We really enjoyed your caps-lock tirade, but you shouldn’t get yourself so excited about these things as it’s not good for your health – you’ll end up looking like Florence in no time. Not to worry anyway, by the time you’ve grasped the concept of grammar, punctuation and the correct use of the contraction “you’re”, then you’ll probably have grown out of your strange compulsion to defend booze-addled kiddy pop role models.