Who could have known that Bing Crosby was actually thingy Gaga’s dad? It’s hard to believe, but this spectacled young girl is prepared to go on record saying so in the latest Argos christmas ad, and spectacled young girls never lie.
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11 Jun 15:00 South Africa v Mexico (Grp A) Johannesburg 14 Jun 12:30 Netherlands v Denmark (Grp E) Johannesburg 15 Jun 12:30 New Zealand v Slovakia (Grp F) Rustenburg 16 Jun 12:30 Honduras v Chile (Grp H) Nelspruit 17 Jun 12:30 Argentina v South Korea (Grp B) Johannesburg 18 Jun 12:30 Germany v Serbia (Grp D) Nelson Mandela Bay 19 Jun 12:30 Netherlands v Japan (Grp E) Durban 20 Jun 12:30 Slovakia v Paraguay (Grp F) Mangaung 21 Jun 12:30 Portugal v North Korea (Grp G) Cape Town 22 Jun 15:00 Mexico v Uruguay (Grp A) Rustenburg 23 Jun 15:00 Slovenia v England (Grp C) Nelson Mandela Bay 24 Jun 15:00 Slovakia v Italy (Grp F) Johannesburg 25 Jun 15:00 Portugal v Brazil (Grp G) Durban 26 Jun 15:00 Uruguay v S Korea (1 L16) Nelson Mandela Bay 27 Jun 15:00 Germany v England (3 L16) Mangaung 28 Jun 15:00 Netherlands v Slovakia (5 L16) Durban 29 Jun 15:00 Paraguay v Japan(7 L16) Pretoria 2 Jul 15:00 Netherlands v Brazil (C QF) Nelson Mandela Bay 3 Jul 15:00 Argentina v Germany (B QF) Cape Town 6 Jul 19:30 A v C (I SF) Cape Town 10 Jul 19:30 Loser I v Loser II (3rd place) Nelson Mandela Bay 11 Jul 19:30 Winner I v Winner II (FINAL) Johannesburg
What have we learnt? Shit all! Germany won with the cheeky kind of shiny cheese skin pop guffary you’d have bet on every time to win. Bjork without the weirdness. Kylie slapped with a sherbet fist. It’s not bowel surgery – write some catchy sing-along positive nonsense and get someone attractive or vaguely peculiar to sing it. So what do Britain do? Get goons like Pete Waterman, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Mike Batt to write a Rick Astley/Sarah Brightman/Wombles b-side and try and find someone in a Waitrose supermarket to sing it. Anyone. As long as they’ve got a nice tan and post-Cif like sparkle to their teeth when they pipe up (ie. they look nothing like your typical Manchester band!). This show has an audience of around 120 million people. Ok, it’s a credibility hell-hole, but you’d think we’d put in a bit of effort or at least try something a bit different. Next year let’s lose in style. Get Jonathan King to do a reggae sequel to Bucks Fizz’s, Making Your Mind Up, called, Teenagers Grind Up. The video can have loads of flash mob dancing teens in spandex, obliviously camel-toeing themselves towards breakdowns. At least then it’d be funny. I need time, I don’t need people like you breaking my mind But your lies feed my enemies You neck wine, it’s what you do cause the fools that you rule Cause your lies feed my enemies Is there anybody listening? I dream of violence, o-oh Leviathan Jones, Taste what I’ve got, this faith I’ve got, It’s like 1999, except this time your speeches die amongst the wise Take and break your lifeline (x4)….. You’re like an orange’s rind, you think you’re tasty but you’re just a waste of space Take and break your lifeline (x4)….. Read more Foilface song lyrics
Over at Foilface HQ our listening choices pull in everything from YES to God Speed You Black Emperor via Roy Harper, Wire, Pavement and Dire Straits (yes, Dire Straits). Now, I’m not sure about the others, but the one album this year that’s really got me thinking, Mmmm Dwi’n hoffi…, is the new Gonjasufi album, A Sufi and a Killer. Pitchfork have labelled it, “one of the most fascinating slabs of hallucinogenic head-nod music to arise from Southern California’s post-hip-hop vanguard” – and that’s not a bad (slightly pompous) conclusion. It’s fuzzy, grizzly and quenched in hot light and smoke > i can’t recommend it enough. It’s the best recent music blast I’ve heard in quite some time!
It’s times like these that I need your honest words In darker days than these you listened as I cursed the world, Oh really, really? This is clearly just my time to fall, It’s times like these that I need your honest words Want to see any other song lyrics from our free music 2 download? Just let us know.
There’s no disputing that she swings a fat bag of vocal prowess down the high street of pop, but 23? She could easily pass for Patsy Palmer’s mum, and often dresses like Helen Mirren’s gran. She’s upfront about her booze love, but there’s only around 135,000 drinking hours in 23 years so the grog can’t account for that much wear and tear alone can it? She does say on her website, “I want my music to sound like throwing yourself out of a tree, or off a tall building,” so perhaps this explains things somewhat.
“Where do I start? Foilface are Smile Like Fools, without the youth, wit, charm, and excellent songs. The mixes are awful, a silly lo-fi mish mash of mostly symbols and the old kitchen sink mentality. If you are aiming at an international market, you need clarity, and you dont have it here. Everything is up in the mix. Your ace card has to be the vocals, and these vocals are very poor, and in my opinion, badly double tracked to hide the lack of any real feel, and therefor the message is lost. However clever lyrically it is, they are lost on the average lead vocal. Pop is supposed to be fun, not complicated ‘clever’ arrangements. You need to focus on where you want to take this, and find a better singer. Who is your audience? Who would buy a 100,000 copies? Forget the 50 songs, and write a bliding hit simple wonderful 3 chord wonder in two and a half mins!” This latest Foilface review comes courtesy of a highly prolific and in-touch music promoter calling himself ‘Mickey Modern‘, who you’ve no doubt heard of. We thank him kindly for taking time out of his busy schedule to listen to and review our new music. Become a music reviewer today! Do you agree? Is Mickey on the money? Obviously anyone buying 100,000 copies would be quite stupid when all our music is available to download for free, but what about the other points? Send us your review of our recent music and we’ll publish it here for the world to feast upon.
So, we’ve released a couple of EPs online (Jean Claude Naïve and EP2). Those of you who’ve listened have strolled hand in hand with us on a first (and indeed second) date, you’ve given us a bit of a kiss and a cuddle. Maybe you’ve even had a fumble and touched our naughty bits. And maybe, just maybe, you’re a tad moist over the thought of what’s coming next. Well, good news. It’s sexy time. Our next date is going to be a dirty, hot and sweaty weekend away. The British latex industry is literally quivering in anticipation. Things are never going to be the same again. But, enough of the foreplay. What we’re here to tell you is that we’re very close to completing our debut album – and in all honesty, it’s going to pork you silly! Till Then Amigo (for that’s what it will be called) is going to be between 12 and 14 songs long and packed to the rafters with our own unique brand of gritty-brain-slapping-post-punk-slacker-gonzo-folk-rock. The tunes are all recorded and semi-mixed (in all honesty, tunes-wise, we’re not a million miles away from a second album – we ferkin loves it) – all we’ve got to do is tweak, twiddle and master the thing. So keeps your ears peeled. There’s a brand new Manchester band in town – and we don’t want to be The Smiths/Oasis/The Fall/The Stone Roses/Doves. Music you can smell and taste. Get scratching, sniffing and licking…. |
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