Scoop it Up

80's revivals, golf rock, twins in matching outfits, ironic jerry curls, happy glue-sniff-bleep-core phone jingles, gonzo street dance yoghurt wig-wam happenings, Sinitta.... we really do need to wipe the shit off the streets sometimes don't we? It's like second hand fish sex monitored by robots and Deirdre Rachid (nee Barlow). The AIDS peppered rot of cultural confetti clogging drains and blocking rational thought.

With all that in mind.... GET SOME FOILFACE... IT'S STILL HERE... AND THERE'LL BE MORE ONE DAY SOON... AND IT WON'T WHIFF OF SONIC DOG SHIT... PROMISE...

"Pill Drink" - Song Lyrics

In the middle of the night when you’re zoned,
Just thinking, drinking,
Sinking into another man’s sofa,
On the brink of something happening,
You’re just reckoning that this can’t be the future
As your tutor is waiting to tell you something,
Anything that will alleviate the boredom,

No-one famous ever came from Milton Keynes,
All your dreams are just puddles left from the storms,
You’re just horny,
But then again maybe it’s this pill drink.

When the summer of your days are just a blaze
In a haze of Australians dying,
Lying on your back sweaty cracked,
Double-tracked like your life is running oh so parallel
To the surprising rising of a thousand backwoodsmen,
It’s kiss and tell, it’s wishing wells,
It’s the real hell of another man’s empty cellar,

No good stories ever came from Stoke-On-Trent,
You’re bent out of shape and hating people,
You’re evil, but then again,
At least you’ve got your pill drink.

No-one erotic ever came from East Kilbride,
You’re wide-eyed and unnecessary,
This is a very, very bad thing,
But at least you’ve got your pill drink.

When there’s someone in the background of every supermarket
Shouting words like, ‘semester’ and, ‘vacation’,
You know that they’re the kind of people
Who pay for empty cartons at the end of their shop
‘Cause they’ve eaten everything,
They treat it like a day out,
They treat it like an adventure,
They invite you around their house
To watch re-runs of Birds of a Feather,
They send you video messages to your phone
Of inbreds chain-sawing the heads off pigs,
They shove both thumbs up,
Smiling.

The World Is Listening

Sometimes it's easy to be paranoid in this frequently bleak world of ours. Far simpler to think people are judging you every minute of every day, than no-one actually being arsed to. Just because the latter is the more likely does not make it the easier option.

At Foilface HQ we love judging people. We thrive off it. But we are also very wary of the whispers in the trees, the haunted gurgle of the river that sits beside our beloved studio and the watchful flap of herons at dawn. People love to hate and hate to love most of the time - it's how things work.

So, it came as no surprise on my walk home the other day, to find that nature has seemingly started listening to my moves (see the photo above). All I was doing was listening to a few bits of recent music on my shiny ipod and then I came across that. And I'm telling you - that patch of land was not fiddled with by me - that's the face of nature staring at you - and do you know what it's thinking?

It's thinking, "hmmm, I really like these Foilface fellas. They produce a fine example of 21st century progressive-post-punk-slacker-rock. I likes and I think others will too".

Music for FREEEEEEEEEEE

For those of you who haven't visited our downloads page and are still unaware of our newly released (and first ever) EP, the magical, "Jean-Claude Naive". I am here to remind you that as of last week our first ever batch of tunes (6 in all) are out and available to DOWNLOAD FOR FREE.

All you have to do to get your hands on them is simply send a blank email to foilface-no-reply@live.co.uk and you’ll receive an instant auto-response containing a link to download the whole EP for FREE!

It's as simple as that! SIX FREE SLACKER ROCK TRACKS all ready to be given a new home and loved like a little doe-eyed puppy.

Don't let 'the man' tell you there's nothing in this world for FREE. He's wrong (and always has been).

THIS IS A FREE GIG!!!

Am I alone in my pissy-panted amusement concerning Noel Gallagher and his, "THIS IS A FREE GIG" u-turn?

Noel and his fellow Quoasis 'tards have long since stopped being truly rock n' roll and 'all about the music' - but this latest u-turn shows us what a money hungry twonk Gallagher Snr really is - posing as a man of the people one minute and then remembering he's got a Rolls Royce and a huge millionaires mansion to pay for the next.

Just over two weeks ago, Ol' Breshnev Brows offered Oasis fans a full refund after two major power cuts hit their opening show at Manchester's Heaton Park.

Problems arose early on in their set, after the generators broke down, forcing the band to leave the stage for around ten minutes. After returning and launching into the plodding dross of 'Lyla', the generators once again packed-in half-way through (in protest maybe?). This was followed by a mammoth forty minute wait, during which the 70,000 gig-goers, who had paid £45 each for a ticket, started to get uneasy and raucous.

Sensing an air of disappointment, upon returning, Noel shouted to the crowd, “Thank you very, very much, this is a free gig - let's f***ing have it! Anybody who has kept their ticket will get a full refund."

I remember reading about this at the time and thinking what a top bloke Noel must be and how maybe I was wrong to think that 99% of his musical offerings post-Definitely Maybe were complete and utter bobbins. I think I even thought briefly about going back and re-assessing "Be Here Now" ("maybe Marilyn Manson is right when he says it's amazing", I momentarily brain farted stupidly).

But no. Like Lennon and McCartney after The Beatles split, shrunk laundry, preparing a brew only to realise the milk is off and lesbians without tongues - it was all just a big pile of nonsense.

Two weeks have passed since that gig and twenty thousand people have now tried to get refunds. But Noel can't believe it. Not only that, he thinks they're, "cheeky c**ts" for taking him up on his offer!

Writing on the official Oasis website, Noel blathers, “It seems that around 20,000 of you have asked for a refund from that night at Heaton Park!! 20,000!! So you were genuinely disappointed? I don't recall seeing a 20,000 gap in the crowd. Cheeky c**ts! Tsk ..some people.”

Call me, Jean-Claude Naive but I reckon it's probably got something to do with the £900,000 bill he'd have to foot if he was true to his word - the slack-mouthed spunker.

Here's hoping he catches AIDS and dies... I mean the flu and feels a bit rough... or a bad cold and needs a lie down... ahhhh... actually I quite like him... good luck to you fella... you're great... you always have been... you're lovely...

Noel Gallagher, eh? He's a smashing bloke - really down to earth and sound and that...

D.A.T - Dead Animal Terrorists

Remember awhile back when loads of twats were coming out of the woodwork and having a go at your 'favourite Mancunian band', because of our glorious moniker? Pricks like Spoilface, Toilface and Boilface. Dickheads trying to jump on our slacker-rock bandwagon in order to get a little nibble of cyber-publicity. Well, fortunately that little trend seems to of fucked off for now.

But as one problem subsides another rears it's maggot suckling head. Yes, the Foilface reputation is now in danger of being tarnished by a bizarre new terrorist organisation, known simply as, D.A.T - or the Dead Animal Terrorists.

These clowns have started leaving a variety of dead animals outside the offices of some of Manchester's most popular bands with little speech bubbles beside them (Mark E. Smith, for one, was not amused by his gift of a deceased kestral and the words, "STOP SLURRING YOUR WORDS TEABAG FACE").

I wouldn't personally be arsed were it not for the fact that the bum-munchers are seemingly doing it in OUR name. The tools are either pretending to be us or are so infatuated with our music that they feel the need to threaten other Mancunian bands on our behalf.

If it's the latter, it's flattering, but in all honesty I'd prefer it if they just handed out some leaflets for us or directed people to our lovely new website. Dumping dead birds on people's doorsteps just isn't on really. Thanks and all that, but please stop it.

And as for called yourselves 'Terrorists' - dropping lifeless crows outside Noel Gallagher's mum's house on a Friday morning in June is hardly the new 9/11 now is it? You silly little turds...

Who is Mystomunch?

Whilst still in a mildly foetal form (until the soon to be released new EP busts forth that is), Foilface have already garnered their first 'mentally unhinged fan'.

Known only as 'Mystomunch', the charming chappy emailed this lovely photo over to us with a simple message - "Dear Foilface, Eat the young, Lots of love Mystomunch x".

I'm not totally sure what he's trying to get at - is he saying Foilface are old? Is he advocating kiddy murder as a form of musical advancement? Or is he just a messy eater with a penchant for lamb and veal?

Whatever his message, it's good to have him onboard. Let's just hope he doesn't do any of that Mark Chapman type nonsense. The Foilface agenda is simple - make top tunes to excite people's ears. Nutters are just a bonus...

Foilface - The Swines!

Sore throat? Excessive coughing? Shortness of breath? Headache? Chills? Loss of appetite? Feverish?

If you're suffering from all of the above the chances are you need a bit of Foilface in your life. Bookmark this page and get ready for news on how you can get hold of the 'soon to be released' six track EP, Jean-Claude Naive for FREE.

If you're on the hunt for new music that's got a bit more snot than the usual dry-nosed bollocks you're tired of listening to, have a pre-release listen to the new stuff here and enjoy. The revolution is almost upon us.

The Dream of Being Blessed

Dreaming is easy. But have you ever dreamt a dream in which you're sleeping and having a dream? I call it the dream loop-hole? I have had dreams where I've been asleep and dreamt inside my dream. These dreams within dreams have then come true.

What does all this mean? Well, the next time you turn on MTV and listen to some clown rambling on about how they've been 'blessed' - remember this - they are not blessed - they've either worked very hard, had influential friends and family or found themselves the benefactors of that lovely random thing called luck (or a healthy smattering of all three).

And if you think none of this makes sense (especially the dreams bit) - then you're probably half right. What is a certainty is that this is Foilface's 50th blog. It doesn't need to make total sense (a bit like dreams, good fortune and great music), it's just happened...

Foilface - We're Like Salmon Moving Upstream

Last night heralded another top session down the Foilface bunker. Vocals were laid down for a new tune called, "A Fine Bromance" (think Field Music meets Polytechnic via Built To Spill and you're nine fifteenths of the way there) and a entirely new song was created from scratch called, "Like a Buffalo" (or maybe "The Proviso"). The latter tune is a pretty hard one to describe - the closest I can come up with is, The Beta Band meets The Flying Pickets via Folk Implosion - so mush that into a mental sonic meatball and digest.

In other Foilface news, the band are now just a few weeks away from a release date for the first EP, Jean-Claude Naive. The website is about to be updated and wonkified and the EP artwork is in production. Bookmark this page in your favourites and you'll be the first to find out when it's released (and you can find out how to download it for FREE). That's FREE music to download and it don't get better than that...

Foilface + Kebabs = Satisfaction

Late last week scientists proved (without doubt) that the best food to eat whilst listening to the recent music howlings of Foilface, was the good old 'Kebab'. I personally like a nice simple chicken tikka effort on naan bread with plenty of salad and sauce. They're satisfying, spicy, stodgy and honest. Bit like Foilface.

Hey! Pussyfoooot!

I would print the lyrics to this one - but as they're basically just, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Pussyfoot!", all I'd be doing is counting 'heys' and wasting my time.

If you liked the initial mix of, 'Pussyfoot' then you'll be pleased to know that our first EP, "Jean-Claude Naive" is mixed and nearly ready to unleash. If you want to get your hands on a copy as soon as it's released send an email to contact@foilface.com - with, 'Copy of JCN please' in the subject line. Hopefully you'll agree that an email address is a more than acceptable swap for a free six track EP (in mp3 format). This is nothing other than it seems - we only want your email address so that we can tell you stuff, like when the next EP is out, for example. We promise not to share your email with anyone else or pepper you with emails.

For all you hardcopy lovers out there, you'll also be pleased to know that we'll also be releasing a limited run of the EP on CD. We haven't got a release date for our recent music slacker rock attacks as yet - but it's going to be VERY soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WS EVIL-STONE

"Break In to Break Out" - Song Lyrics

Sweet Lord, am I really here,
Or is someone just pulling my heartstrings?
Cause they’ve snapped
And I’m back on the track
That keeps leading to cracks
In the pavement,
Your little words are breaking me.

The end, I have seen my friend
And it lends its face well to vengeance,
You spend all my patience quick
But the trick is to swear that you need me,
Greedy, bleed me dry, I sigh, you lead,
Oh your little words are breaking me.

Break in, break in, so I can break out, break out (x4)

(Wig-Out)

Break in, break in, so I can break out, break out (x4)

So here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes,
Here comes reality,
I’m off the track, I’m on my back, sharp as a tack, I take it back,
Here comes monotony,

Where you gonna go when you feel the rain?
Whose gonna listen when you start to complain?
What you gonna do when they drive you insane?
Why are you poking your life down the drain?
Talk back!!!

Stay tuned for more lyrics from the recent music vaults of Manchester's newest slacker rock afficionados, Foilface....

"Second Date" - Song Lyrics

I left my whistle by the canapés,
This age I’ve found myself in
Is made out of concrete boulevards,
I find my way out punching bodyguards,

Did I tell you about the time?
Did I tell you about the time?
Did I tell you about the time I had worms?

This is a really bad second date,
I’ve poured my guts out and I’m crying hard,
If there were rules I reckon they’d all be corpses in a lonely pit,
Counting buttons and they’re cluttered by confusing shit.

I break myself into pieces
And I hand myself out to lonely lepers,
Claire is a very good, a very good swimmer,
She’s hyperactive and she’s insecure,

If you tell here she’s the only one
She probably bake some cakes
And suck you till you’re dry.

She’s an only child and her parents are separated
I’ll bet she’ll be elated if you break her down –
She is a cake with squirty cream.

Keep your eyes on these pages for more Foilface lyrics and recent music news and nonsense...

Music Menace 'Embroilface' Revealed

Ever wondered how all these bust-ups come about on the UK music scene? Well, it turns out they're not all down to Max Clifford and the pop-grot column inches machine.

Details have recently been released of one man's subversive crusade to bring the UK music industry to it's knees via the highly-proven playground method of 'juxta-sleeze' and 'counter-slagging'.

Known simply as 'Embroilface', his musical bitching campaign peaked in the mid 90s when he seized an opportunist moment in a Manchester bar to bring about the fall of Take That. Embroilface approached Gary Barlow in his usual charming manner, and the two became very comfortable chatting over a few shandies. The musical fantasist then slipped out a tale about the time he had been UFO spotting with Robbie Williams, during which he claimed Robbie had spoken about Gary's mum, referring to her as "tramp tits" and adding: "I've had her. She was crap."

Punctutating the shocking revelation with his trademark face stance, he gleefully watched as Gary shuffled off to the toilets where he spent the rest of the night crying and plotting his revenge. But Embroilface wasted no time; he was already at home splicing up the secret recordings he had just made of Gary speaking, until he was able to send an anonymous MP3 to Robbie Williams which he had geniously edited to say: "You're - not - great. You are - scampi fries and a pink gin. I've always thought of Robbie as - fag machine around here."

Within 24 hours, there was a mass hair-pulling fest, and the legendary split was afoot.

These days, the work of Embroilface is much easier, thanks to the explosion of sites offering music 2 download, where a few bitchy text comments seem to satisfy his bizarre compulsion. Look out for him when you're perusing the latest recent music releases, and if he starts calling your mum, you can officially consider yourself of musical importance (unless your mum just is a bike or summit).

Well Snide

There's a lot of scary stuff in this here world of ours. People who sodomise horses, Elvis Presley impersonators, vampire donkeys, marmite, Nicholas Witchell, volcanoes, emo kids with guns, Pauline Quirke, raw egg drinks - the list is far to long to print here in full.

About six or seven foot down the official scroll of scary stuff in this here world of ours (the list is written in Times New Roman, font size 12) is a strange Manchester based artist called Snide.

I call him Terrapin because it sounds good and he regularly appears in damp shadows, snapping and barking at strangers like he's chewing on pine cones.

He's got some lovely music mind you (even if just a whiff of schnapps can make this normally very pleasant individual slip into a pair of barbed wire suspenders and yelp bile like a crazed necromancer in prison). Here's a downloadable version of his cover of The Abodes, 'Why My God'. Think comprehensible Mark E Smith meets Massive Attack via early Adam Green and your vaguely nearby...

(MP3) Snide - Why My God

He's got a MySpace site too. Check it out...

http://www.myspace.com/snidehowkins

Recent Music rant from Toilface!

We received this email and picture today, from 'Toilface':

"Foilface. I find your recent music to be indeed most pleasant. But I don't really approve of you having such a similar name to me. I have worked the land for nigh on two score years and ten to earn my name. What have you done? Probably eaten a few too many toffees and recorded your excitement."

Boilface

Foilface copyists are coming thick and fast. No sooner have we spurted our recent music pips all over Manchester and people are coming out of the wordwork trading off rhymed versions of our lovely name.

Boilface (see photo) has yet to release anything onto the internet as yet but he's certainly trying his best to build up the hype. I caught him on a Manchester music forum the other day claiming to be, "the filibustering crunk genius (who's) about to rock the North like a wooden horse with hives". His forthcoming EP, "Minge Two" claims to unite the ideals of ghetto opera with violent sexual imagery (opening track, "Spocked the Ho" is described as lesbonic-electro-sleaze). I think he's just a little girl pretending to have tits, if the truth be told. But each to their own.

As yet he hasn't associated his name with us over at Foilface HQ, so maybe it's just a coincidence. Either way the chap's a quent of the highest order...

Timeline Video - Amazing Music Project

Paul Higham has just completed this incredibly good timeline video project. If you like great timeline videos and great music, then the chances are you'll think this is great!

Fictional Albums

I totally understand how annoying social networking sites like Facebook can be. And as for all the applications - stuff like software that makes your nose wiggle on photos, people sending pictures of fruit-baskets to each other and setting up Lorraine Kelly Fan Groups - do people really need that kind of fluff in their lives?

That said, I have recently witnessed a mildly amusing new idea/trend on Facebook, namely the instant-fictional-album-cover fad. For those not in the know, you pick a random wikepedia page heading to use a your band name, then a random quote from a quotes website (the last four or five words generally). Then hop onto a photo hosting site like flickr and pick the first photo you stumble across. Piece them together in something like Photoshop and hey presto - fictional album cover

It's utter bobbins but mildly amusing (and kind of eerie) as my example here shows. That said, it really is much better to actually make a real album.

Which Foilface will endeavour to do once we've finished mixing our first few EPs. Watch this space...

Words, Words, sWord, Words

As Kilgore has splattered below, things are progressing nicely in Foilface world and in a few months time we should have a few EPs finished off.

Another tune was gently wafted out on Saturday and the current lack of a name for the track (I remember it as 'Sour City Gin Song' - but only because they're the first words sung) has got me to wondering about the naming of songs, EPs and album titles as a whole.

Probably my favourite album of all time, Love - Forever Changes, benefits from not only having great tunes but top song titles (The Good Humor Man He Sees Everything Like This, A House Is Not a Motel, Andmoreagain etc) and a great, mystical, late-60's sounding album title too. In my world (and in Google world too, I guess) a great title is a definite bonus.

For instance, I first listened to Gorky's Zygotic Mynki, not because someone had recommended them to me or because I'd stumbled across their sound in a record shop. No - they had a funny name and seemed worth a punt. I'd have discovered them at some point, but their name speeded up the process. And if this seems fickle I don't care, because it doesn't end there.

I first heard New York art-rockers, Liars after listening to one of their albums purely because it had a great name. The album in question was, 'They Threw Us All In A Trench And Stuck A Monument On Top' - it's a great album. The verbosity of their song and album titles (also see - They Were Wrong, So We Drowned and The Other Side of Mount Heart Attack) may not be intentionally designed to pull people in (is that naive?) but that's what happened with me.

Earlier, I briefly leafed through some of the albums and EPs I have on itunes and this love of EP and album titles had me relistening to treats by Gorky's Zygotic Mynki (Ambler Gambler EP), Why? (Elephant Eyelash), Edan (Beauty & the Beat), Stereolab (Emperor Tomato Ketchup), Pavement (Slanted & Enchanted) and Neon Neon (Stainless Style). My conclusion is that I seem to be drawn to inventive rhyming (see GZM and Pavement), quality puns (see Neon Neon and Edan) and the surreal (see Why? and Stereolab). Is it a coincidence that I also love their music?

The answer is probably a rather drab, 'a bit, yes - but not entirely'. I know that's a bit vague (defining why we love the bands we listen to is, a lot of the time) but in a world dominated by Google search engines, fast cut MTV videos, soundbites, tag lines and catchphrases, good titles (and as an extra bonus, 'appropriate' ones - 'Slanted & Enchanted' for instance pretty much sums up the whole Pavement sound in three words) certainly count a lot more than they used to.

So, musicians, artists and bands take note - words mean more than ever.

Which leads me onto the probable title for the first Foilface EP, namely, Traumatised Yacht Owners. Is it a good title?

To me, it conjures up amusing credit crunch images and the tears of the super wealthy blubbering their dreams away. It sounds like the cackle of slackers who may be about to have their day. I like it at the moment anyway, and it seems to fit.

What'choo talkin' 'bout, Foilface?

Remember the ridiculous American sit-com, Diff'rent Strokes? The plot revolved around two African-American orphans (Arnold and Willis) from a poor Harlem neighbourhood who were adopted by their deceased mother's wealthy white employer, Mr Drummond. It was nonsensical (and slightly questionable in hindsight) but mildly humorous if my memory serves me correctly.

So, what has Diff'rent Strokes got in common with the new Mancunian musical bandwagon that is Foilface? Well, if Mr Drummond was Foilface, Arnold and Willis would definitely be The Abodes - the gonk-pop duo spawned in the rural ghettoes of North Wales and now based and sonically swimming around the inner city beauty of Manchester.

The Abodes currently have two full-length albums full of recent music available on Last.fm for absolutely nowt (that's 'nuffink', for all you southerners out there). All you need to do is visit the album links on their Last.fm page and get downloading - http://www.last.fm/music/The+Abodes

If you're wondering what they sound like, imagine a musical supermarket sweep attended by Ween and The Beta Band in a shop owned by Gruff Rhys and Beck. Or alternatively think, lo-fi gonk-pop or weird-out acoustica. All you really need to know is it's top stuff and it's completely and utterly FREE. All The Abodes ask is that you befriend them on the site if you're a Last.fm member, tag up their tunes and leave them some messages n' stuff.

35 tunes are available to listen to and download and more of their gently mental sounds will be finding their way onto to their Last.fm page very soon too - so get your very own little bit of musical Manchester magic now...

Pudgy faced lo fi culture never sounded better...

More Manchester music?!

Surely there can't be even more insanely talented, fresh-faced young men connected to the Foilface movement? Surely somebody somewhere should really be keeping tabs on all this amazing Manchester music?

Well luckily some of us are, wrap your ears around the sonic beauty of Audiopoesis, the core of which is two humble science nerds who get together sporadically to churn out some extremely high-quality ambient electronic instrumentals. Their unique and inspiring sound swings gently between brooding soundscapes, scattered twitchy electronic percussion moments to heart-rending live violin passages.

Now we've finally managed to get our shit together down at Foilface HQ there's a good chance that we'll be getting these boys involved with some musical sorcery at some point in the future. Check out their myspace for some excellent and absolutely free music, delicious, boom.

CCTV Soundtracks

Ever wondered how long it'll be until forests start having CCTV cameras on the boughs of their trees? Do you long for a song that brings together witches, eagles and vicars and asks them to gently gurgle harmonic sounds together? Then 'Happy Apocalypso' to you! For Foilface have the very remedy to cure your ailments.

'Cameras', is one of a batch of currently downloadable Foilface tracks available for free.

Think Smog mud wrestling Devendra Banhart in a hot tub owned by Dave Gilmour and your nine twelfths of the way there.

To find out what's next and hear about further downloadable tunes from the Foilface collective sign up to the free music mailing list.

Sad Music

Is your brain lost in memories? Are you lonely like the vulture? Do you enjoy a cheeky blub every now and again (when no-one's looking, of course)? Then (amongst other things) Foilface have conjured up a nice weepy little wonk-ballad for you in the shape of, 'Sad House'.

Download the free mp3. It's ready and waiting for your listening pleasure.

If Kate Bush were a fat Northern slacker with a penchant for fruit beers and sobbing she/he would happily put their name to this new blast of sad music. Plus it's free so there's nothing to lose. Have some lovely new manchester music on us.

It may need one final mix (maybe not - tell us what you think) but it balances quite nicely alongside some of the more joyously rabid tunes currently in the bag.

Go get some...

Foilface - Music Matters

Last night heralded another highly successful Foilface night down the studio. We are now two tunes to the greater and things are progressing nicely.

The first of our new (as yet unfinished) tunes is, 'Pill Drink'. A delighful ode to drinks that accompany the taking of medicine. In many ways it's the ballad of a disillusioned joe ('no-one famous ever came from Milton Keynes... no good stories ever came from Stoke-on-Trent and no-one erotic ever came from East Kilbride'). Which begs the question - Is it a slacker rock mockery of the UK's provincial towns? Answer - No, it's a rambling stare at 21st century consumerism as it thrashes about burning on the floor, crying for help and spitting at unhelpful strangers as it draws it's final breaths. Kind of.

The second tune (told you we're prolific!) is (probably) called, 'Last Bastions'. It's another Foilface 'wonky ballad' and I like to think it's an intergalactic love song involving space ravens (even though it's not really). I say the words ballad and love song with gritted teeth as they instantly make me think of Celine Dion, Enrique Inglesias, Mariah Carey and all those other plastic-faced, doggerel wafting clowns. Either way it's an ode to something beautiful and seemingly lost and it builds into a meaty mini-prog beast of a tune come the second half. Think Kings of Convenience meets early-Genesis and your three eighths of the way there.

Anyway, we've got lots of tunes in various stages of completion (plus some free ones available to download on this site) at the moment and the next task is mixing them and deciding on how we present things. A batch of 5-track EPs seems like a good idea. We'll keep you posted. In the meantime remember 'music matters'...

Sub-division ahoy, bring out your hyphens

The evolution of music via genre re-generation fascinates me. I often find myself slightly aroused when I come across yet another saucy looking Portmantau such as metal-gaze, shoe-core, dark-step or even clown-step. The language is an entire study in itself, I find myself researching sub-genres of sub-genres without meaning to, and even more worryingly, I find myself dropping these labels into everyday conversation with people who have no idea what the foilface I'm going on about.

My current highlights of the sub-genre-naming movement are directly linked to manchesters very own foilface - get a load of these tags, 21st century slacker-rock, psychedelicly-twisted-mexican-seaside-mini-prog. (I would recommend you take a look at some foilface if you can answer "fuck yeah!" to any two or more of the bullet points below).

I recently focused on the majestic genre of post-rock, not post-metal or post-post-hardcore - just good old fashioned post-rock. Now from the reaction I've had from most friends outside the music-creation circuit you'd think this genre hadn't been invented yet, worse still there are people that can't even seem to remember anything about it hours after a basic explanation - "post-whatyacallit?, is that like pole dancing musics?"

I'm going to start laying down some rules as to how much attention I think the general public should be paying to the rich crusty underside of popular culture. Here's a couple off the top of my head.

1. All members of society must be able to name TEN recognised musical genres not including - pop, rock, folk, blues, punk and reggae. (There is to be no cheating by scrolling through your iPod)
2. All members of society will only have a chance to listen to, and digest, any one single piece of music up to a maximum of TEN times, after that you will be expected to move on.
3. Christmas songs are abolished - see rule 2
4. Sky Sports are to create an entire industry based on the hunting down of, then the slow and deliberate stabbing of, Simon Cowell through the heart with a pair of rusty barbecue tongs covered in AIDS. (Gillette Super Disembowel-Cowel Sunday)

I've just purchased tickets to see yet another live instrumental guitar combo, this time it's Japan's Mono. I'll be at the London show on the 26th of March. It's the day before my birthday and I'll be in my instrumental revery, secretly inventing three new sub-genres for each song they play, bliss.

Tokyo2005 : Free UK Music Downloads

Okay, just for a minute I need to stop banging on about the amazing, awesome free MP3 downloads of new recent music by Foilface. Did we mention Foilface?

This week, I have mostly been listening to some sonic mind treats in the form of Tokyo2005's new free uk music downloads. If you don't listen to anything else this week, then definitely listen to these fine new UK sounds. Tokyo2005 is the sort of emotionally engaging music that will lift your soul and make you think you can do stuff that you clearly can't, but will enjoy believing that you can for a few dreamy moments of 'mind MTV'.

There.

So anyway, there's this ace new Manchester band called Foilface, right, and...

Testing, Testing (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8)...

New songs 2009!!! That's what Foilface have got for you. It's 2009 and we've got new songs. Loads of them.

Not sure what we're all about? Well, here's an easy way to find out. Basically, if you like at least five out of the following eight things then you'll love Foilface -

1. Musical melodies that go well with fajitas, donkey rides, jagermeister and witchcraft

2. The understanding that everyone in the world occassionally wants to punch someone in the face and the joy you eventually receive from not following through with your thoughts

3. The after effects of weeping about something that wasn't worth weeping about

4. The sound of drunkards singing in tune

5. A hatred of over-plucked eyebrows

6. Vampire metaphors

7. The feeling you get when you've just finished painting a room really quickly (but expertly) and have a glass of warm cream soda in your hand

8. Perfect temperature pasties

Download a selection of our songs if your a fiver, sixer, sevener or a magic eighter. Treat your ears...

Vampires & Naked Women Covered in Toadstools

Remember that point in the 70's where everyone associated with rock started singing about wizards, witches and vampires (if you didn't, maybe you remember the pixies, fairies and toadstools from the 60's or the zombies, chainsaws and naked women covered in sauce in the 80's)? It was a bit shit most of the time wasn't it?

That's got certain members of Foilface thinking that maybe, just maybe, the shitness was down to the wrong combinations. At least two songs on the forthcoming album will therefore work off the new Foilface formula of vampires and naked women covered in toadstools. It's a winning formula, we promise.

If it doesn't rock you, you're probably Rick Wakeman....

What's the Concept?

Should albums tell stories? Or is it enough to just bang together a dozen great tunes and line them up so they sound good together? Should albums have a concept behind them or just act as a showcase?

I guess the obvious answers are no, probably and either, but it’s worth a thought. Concept albums like The Wall, Quadrophenia, Ege Bamyasi, Ok Computer and Sgt Pepper's sound much better when listened to as a whole and don’t really lend themselves well to the ipod shuffle. That in itself is a great argument for concept albums. In this day and age if the album is to survive as a workable format, surely a rise in concept albums is due.

Personally I (and Foilface) much prefer a bit of occasional indulgence over play it safe ‘meat and two veg’ pub-rock. And for me there’s too few albums containing song-cycles and multi-song plots and stories. Maybe bands are just scared. You only have to look at the state of Brian Wilson to see what creating albums like ‘Smile’ can do to a man.

I still find it baffling that post-Ok Computer the concept album still hasn’t really taken off (excluding the odd belting exception like the Liars’ ‘They Were Wrong So We Drowned’ and Neon Neon’s ‘Stainless Style’).

Whether or not the forthcoming Foilface album is a concept album remains to be seen. It could easily be an exploration of mankind’s battle with medieval nightmares, vampires, human heartbreak and the questionable optimism of 21st Century Western society. Or it could just as easily be about slags, whisky, street-fighting and monkeys.

I just want a world packed with great concept albums (however loosely that term is applied – a concept needn’t be strict – after all Sgt Pepper's is just costumes and a title track when all is said and done isn’t it?). Failing that, just a bit more originality would be nice (are you listening Blunt, Ronson, Borrell, et al?). Music packed with ideas and stories, hot new music, melodies that sizzle the ears and bake the soul. It’s what we all want, isn’t it? (Answer – 'Yes').

Do the Outburst

One of the potential contenders for album opener on the forthcoming (as yet unnamed) Foilface CD is a tune called, 'Pantry' (or maybe, 'Do the Outburst') we recorded in a drunken haze a few months ago.

It's basically a vaguely surreal David Icke-like take on 60's garage rock and has a mildly modish feel to it (and some lovely keyboards too).

The opening rant, "Bring out the sinners, they are nothing but lizards, they bring you down to their tables at breakfast time and make you sit through their prayers", could be interpreted in a number of ways. Are we really part of a world governed by huge shape-shifting reptilians? Or do the lizards represent the archaic elements of western society the protagonist wants to rebel against? Probably neither if the truth be told but it's a poser.

The song also goes on to label everyone on earth 'molluscs' and 'war wounds', which as well as potentially tipping an ironic hat to Darwin and Dawkins could just as easily be a lovely little burst of surrealist-babble.

You'll get to hear it at some point if you stay tuned to these regular updates from the official udders of Manchester's new musical cow, Foilface. The place where UK slacker rock, meets mexican-psyche-seaside-folk and fights it to the death (or at least till someone cries a bit)... Don't be a stranger...

Pussyfoot! Your Mind is Diseased!

They said it couldn't be done. 'They' don't really exist of course and the things being done are all done in the dark with no-one watching. So scrap that. Let me start again...

No-one said things might or might not be done. AND guess what?! They have been.

So, who or what are Foilface? Well, have you ever drunk a tumbler of paed (the delightfully sub-human blend of Russia's finest ice-cold vodka and Britain's bollock-warm cream soda)? Have you ever danced with a bag of revels in the pale moonlight? Do you like bending, Focus's 'Hocus Pocus', McDonalds' Vanilla Milkshake enemas and whities? If the answer is 'yes', then there's a good chance you'll love Foilface even if you don't know who or what they are yet really (you will soon).

Focus - Hocus Pocus (Live '73) - Click here to watch flabbergastingly good Youtube clip

Imagine riding on the back of a huge wolf. You are a nomadic fighter but you have no idea what you are fighting or where you are heading. The desert you ride across is bare but for the random scatterings of angry cacti. Visions brew and vampires appear on the horizon of your memories, dribbling their sluicy madness across the dreams you scatter forth. Vague rumours of atrocities whisper across the sandy dunes, thoughts of love and betrayal sink into the dying sun and yet all you can do is laugh. You laugh until you pass out and then as you drift into dreams all you can hear is the sound of strange seaside organ, the cries of hungry gulls and the five words, "PUSSYFOOT - Your mind is diseased!" . The words echo beautifully like a perfectly blended mixture of fear and amusement. When you finally wake from your slumber, you are sat on a lazy-boy with a jotter pad in your hand and a peculiar sense of joy. The pad is almost entirely empty. Almost. All it says is, 'Foilface'.

This is Foilface!

Hello,

This is the Foilface music blog where we'll be putting...erm...blogs about music and, of course, Foilface!