I was saying to the missus, on this general erection day morning, how I was feeling strangely nostalgic for the weird excitement I remember feeling as a kid when parties used to drive past our house blurting toss through a megaphone in the build up to elections.

There are probably still plenty of places around the UK where this has never died, but I couldn’t remember witnessing such an event during my adult years. Until about half an hour ago.

Yes, amidst the modern day multimedia wrangle of pissing out lies en masse from a distance via screens and type, I felt a warm tingle of something happening in the real world that I actually live in when I heard the unmistakable muffled screech of loudspeakered bullshit approaching.

As it came nearer I could make out the words, “Britain is full, end immigration, vote BNP” (time well spent – I’m sure they can now count on the full support of the people in this area, who hail from just about everywhere). It’s a well-worn lesson, but the message is not to yearn for nostalgic memories to revisit reality, or they’ll be forever ruined by a retarded scumbag with a megaphone.

One of the safest ways to distract those in possession of speech, who don’t yet have the counterpart brain to safely operate it, is through the use of music therapy. So we’d like to encourage all BNP members to download and listen (constantly) to our new 100% English music songs (recorded using German equipment, whilst guzzling Italian beer and munching American snacks and inspired by great musicians from everywhere – even ones who aren’t white).