The churning out of much fine new uk music can often leave one feeling rather peckish, so I got quite excited this week when I treated myself to some new scoff technology whilst out on a lavish christmas shop in Poundstretcher.

‘Toastabags‘ (pluralised even though there’s only one in the tight-arsed pack) are basically wallets for toasting sandwiches in your toaster. You may have seen them featured on Dragon’s Den a while back.

Great idea, but sadly the manufacturer’s claims appear to be a complete croque-monsieur of shit. My perfectly decent cheese butty was quickly turned to charcoal on the outside, whilst the cheese inside was still colder than Michael Jackson. The supposedly “reusable toastabag” singed through on it’s first pathetic outing, so in truth didn’t even reach the dizzy heights of being “usable”.

Luckily, the fact that the tight fannies only give you one in the pack meant that I didn’t put my second butty in at the same time, so I avoided cremating them both – I did this one under the grill like I would have done anyway before my idiot purchase.

Toastabags Review: They’re fuc*ing dreadful (0/10)

Ah, that feels better.